Home time

Today i had to take my mums mum home. I wanted to spend longer with her but tomorrow i have to return to Cheltenham for work so unfortunately i cant. I had to drive her back in brum which i was really worried about because he does have a habit of breaking down but luckily i got her home safely.

once i'd manged to get her to hers we pottered about the house for a bit then went for lunch. i wanted to spend the whole day with her but my cars lights dont work at the moment so i had to leave early to make sure i was home before dark.

However i did get a few shots. Mainly of her showing me things she bought before Christmas. shes become very accustomed to the camera and doesn't really notice it but you can tell when she wants her photo taken. she loves the attention.

I think this is a nice portrait of her. its soft and her expression is natural. it also adds her personality to the image because shes randomly holding something. but this adds to the image and i dont think it would of been as effective if she hadn't been holding the cat calender. the lighting is very yellow and this can be edited but i like the warm feel it has on the image. plus she looks very healthy in the image, over the week that i've spent with her shes been so much better shes eaten all of her meals, shes laughed more and had far more energy. shes even slept at night. sounds abit like a baby but this is the thing with her, she needs to be around people and if she'd of been on her own this year we probably would of had a repeat of last year with her in hospital for an overdose. thats why its been so important for me to be around my mums mum this Christmas.

Now even she doesn't know why she bought this fan. She found it funny either way. the light above her head is annoying on this photo. that can be edited out though. but my main focus fr this photo is the details and mainly the bruise on her hand. though the image looks fun and cheerful. it gives an insight into how she does have health problems and that sometimes i forget just how frail shes become.

Now because i have work for the next week i've got to have a week off shooting but once my family return from their holiday i will be going over to my mums mums to get some more shots. this time i'll be focusing on her and my mum and their relationship. How they interact and get on.

Shopping anyone?

Now i have never been shopping with my mums mum before. And now i understand why her house is full of so much stuff. she will literally buy everything.

We had originally planned to go shopping yesterday but my mums mum slept in until half 2 in the afternoon (pretty sure i'm the one that meant to do that) so we decided we'd go today instead. We got on the bus and away we went. it was a lovely day for the both of us we wandered about had lunch did the sort of things i should do with my gran more often.

however you are probably wandering where the point of this post is. well my mums mum had decided that she wanted a onesie. now i was pretty convinced that we wouldn't find one. Oh how wrong i was. she found this beauty...

Yes she bought a bright yellow giraffe onesie. This made my day quite possibly my year. shes already decided shes going to wear it down the garden to make her neighbours think shes even more crazy than they already do. 

Now this is where i am starting to see more of my grans personality. Not only is she completely nuts (well all the good ones are anyhow). But she is almost like a child trapped in an older persons body. Shes never really grown up, but then shes never fully had to. She didn't go out to work she spent her life cleaning, cooking and looking after the kids she so her maturity only went so far. And now that she doesn't have to look after anyone she can be exactly how she wants to be and it doesn't matter. 

ITS CHRISTMAAAASSSS!

So to say i am excited would be an understatement. i woke up at 5 this morning. i couldn't sleep. I haven't been this excited about a Christmas in a very long time.

We all got some wonderful presents and i had my camera on me all day just snapping about at everything. just getting a feel for the day. i wasn't too fussed about working on the project because i was more interested in just enjoying the day but i always take photos on Christmas day anyhow so i thought i might as well.

The above photo shows my mums mum, rum and coke in hand. looking pretty chuffed. shes in her best top and trousers. with all her jewellery on. Something about Christmas day makes everyone feel like they have to look their best. its not the best photo but i love her facial expression. 

Now on Christmas day my dad and brother both got given the same shirt. they are a spitting image of each other anyhow so obviously photos had to be taken of them to show just how similar they are 

Now this is where i started to get very interested in how we look like our parents and reverted back to what i was looking at for the large format project. my brother who is 18 looks the exact same as my dad did when he was 18. its very strange to see. however it gets even better. For my grandads (my dads dad) was also with us on Christmas day and by some freaky chance he turned up also wearing a yellow shirt. It did make us laugh. But what is strange is that my dad who is 46 looks the same as my granddad did when he was the same age. its almost like real life view of how one person will age. so a photo of the 3 of them had to be taken... obviously.

After taking a series of photos of them all stood next to each other i started to think and become inspired  For the large format project i overlayed an image of my mum and my mums mum to show how similar they are and how their faces are pretty much the same. so then i came up with a little side project that i want to work on. i want to get portraits of each family member and do overlays of the faces to see how we inherit different features and how our faces fit into each others. 

So as you can see any photography for personal view was sort of over shadowed on Christmas day but i'm not too fussed about that because it made me really inspired to work on a different personal project. 

Now tomorrow my family fly off on holiday so i'll be spending the next 4/5 days with my mums mum. so my project will hopefully progress during this week =).

'tis the night before christmas

It is Christmas eve and because my mums mum is very religious we took her to the evening service at the church. we haven't been since i was very little and all i can remember is that i used to get an orange with a candle in it and dolly mixtures stuck onto it... so i had high hopes. however this year there was no oranges covered in sweets. just a chocolate coin. i was pretty disappointing. but nevermind. 

We took her to the service and she seemed to enjoy it. there was singing, lots of singing which she liked joining in with. i didn't take any photos in the church, it almost seemed disrespectful and plus i was too busy laughing with my dad at the fact that the lady sat in front of us looked exactly like postman pat and trying to persuade my mum to come to the pub afterwards.

We succeed so after church we walked across the road to the pub.... we were sure this must be some kind of sin yet the vicar went too so we decided it must be ok. The picture above i shot whilst in the pub on 35mm film. i've started carrying a film camera around instead of a digital these days it leaves a bit of mystery and is a nice surprise when i get the film developed because half the time i cant remember what i've taken photos of. The drink in my mums mums hand is the first alcoholic drink shes had in nearly 30 years. She used to be an alcoholic though she says she was never a proper one. She said that she could never be a proper alcoholic, for then she would have to drink all day. Yet she could only drink in the morning, never in the afternoon or evening. 

I do love this photo, both with glasses in hands all wrapped up in their coats. Its generic family snap. A photo that i should already have, one that we should have millions of yet we dont. These family snaps are something that's missing from our photo albums at home.

Collection day

So today we are off to collect my mums mum. we've had a few issues with her this week. and my whole plan was nearly ruined because she decided that she didn't want to come over because she thinks we are only inviting her to keep and eye on her. she decided to tell us that she was going to spend Christmas day at her friend Enids house. However my mum got a phone call from Enid making sure that my gran was coming to ours for Christmas. so in other words my mums mum had been planning to spend Christmas day on her own but we foiled her plan.

The relationship shes had with our family means that shes not used to people wanting her to be around or getting excited to see her. my mums side of the family has a very strange view on what family means. unless someones died no one seems to bother getting in contact. its very bizarre. hence why i've never really gotten to know my mums mum until the past year.

Though i was speaking to my mum and she said that her dad never cared for grandchildren and  he was never really too fussed about having children either but in those days that was the done thing, you got married went to work and had kids. so once he'd done that he wasn't really bothered about getting to know his children kids which is such a shame because my mums mum feels like shes missed out on so much. She loves her children to bits and loves her grandchildren even more.

The massive smile she gets on her face when i walk in her door is something that almost makes me cry. Shes missed seeing us grow up, sure shes had photos but shes never really known us. she asks questions now about events in the past that are things that she should of been there for and it upsets her. however shes  not the only one that's missed out though. i've missed out on having a grandma for such a long time and its amazing how much you need one in your life. that's why this project is more than just a series of photos printed into a book. Its given me a relationship with someone that i should of had so long ago. its made me value my family so much more and understand how we need to be in order to make sure that everyone knows exactly how much you care because some times. Its just too late.

Prep For Christmas

So whilst everyone else has buggered off home for Christmas i'm still at university... oh the joys of having a job. However because i am headed home on Thursday and on Saturday i am going with my mum and dad to collect my mums mum to bring her over to ours for Christmas.

now over Christmas my family are going on holiday so this means that i get to 'look after' my mums mum and hopefully i can work on my project even more. If all goes to plan i will not only develop my own relationship with her but also learn more about her as a person and her views on our family and the way she sees things.

So far i have looked at her life in regards to her house and i was initially wanting to focus on how she is coping now that she is the only one in the house for the first time ever. this is a strong enough subject on its own because her loneliness is very clear and in photos in her eyes you can tell how she feels. But there's so much more to her. really i could easily spend years photographing her. She really is that interesting.

However for the Christmas break my plan is to mainly talk to her. get to understand her and on Christmas day see how she interacts with everyone else because this is the first ever Christmas she has spent with us so it really is a complete change.

Any ways, i'm off to work... need to earn some pennies.

Yesterday

So yesterday i went over the visit my mums mum to work on my project.

its safe to say it didn't go to plan, we ended up spending 5 hours in hospital with her instead.

shes perfectly fine just had a bit of a rough week and then managed to super glue her fingers together so she got into a bit of a state with it all. which is understandable.

However it was still a good day because i got to spend the day talking to her and learning even more out about her. Silly things like how shes always wanted to play the trumpet but her father wouldn't allow it because in those days ladies didn't play the trumpet.
its small things like this that i'm finding out that add to my knowledge of her and it is starting to create a more in depth view on her. now the hospital had to keep her in over night so while my mum went to grab an over night bag for my gran i was sat with her and went with her when they moved her to a different ward. i found it scary spending a day in the hospital i haven't been in one since my grandma (my dads mum) passed away when i was 12 so it brought back alot of memories.
while i was in the hospital i wanted to take photos of her so badly but it seemed almost rude. she looked unwell and sad. she had wires in her arms and was on a hospital bed in a small dark room. the photos would of said so much but i just couldn't bring myself to get the camera out my bag so photographically it wasnt a great day but from a documentary view point i got more substance to the project which at this point is just as important.

now i'm spending my whole Christmas break with her so my project can be worked on then, and over the Christmas period i am going to be looking to record what she says more than capturing imagery, this is because for this project i feel that the wording to go with it will be more powerful and will enhance the imagery so it needs to be just right. however i'm not entirely sure what i want the writing to be about yet so that will have to develop as i go along.

Brian the hoarder

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2243516/Compulsive-hoarder-Brian-Clenshaw-filled-flat-newspapers-magazines-DVDs-faces-eviction-disorder-got-control.html

another article on a hoarder. they seem to becoming more popular these days. Brian's hoarding looks far worse than my mums mums but his is in a much smaller space with less rooms. this is where my mums mums problem lies. she has a massive 3 bedroom house with lots of rooms. so although in places it doesn't seem so bad as you begin to search the sheer volume of junk becomes more apparent.

Today's the day

So we hand in today. got everything sorted last night though because its showing work in progress its hard to know how it should all be and to what stage. But at least i've actually shot some stuff and know what i'm doing.

And this means that while my sketch book is away i'm going to have to blog everything =/. 

Fun times...

Uhoh

so tomorrow is our 30% hand in. oh joy!

Now clearly there's been abit of activity on here but not a whole especially in regards to my own work. this is mainly due to the fact that i've not been able to go back and shoot any more recently because my mums mum has been abit poorly and so going to visit hasn't been allowed.

However i've done lots and lots in my sketch book and even got bored the other day so started making some concertina books. i am getting there just need some more imagery to further my project even more.

In the Best Possible Taste

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/in-the-best-possible-taste-grayson-perry/4od

there has been a new documentary of 4od recently called in the best possible taste by the artist Grayson Perry. it follows him on a search to explore britains different tastes.

SERIES SYNOPSIS

Grayson Perry has always been fascinated by taste: why people buy the things they do and wear the things they wear, and what they are trying to say about themselves when they make those choices. Grayson goes on safari through the taste tribes of Britain, not just to observe our taste, but to tell us in an artwork what it means.

The work Grayson creates is a series of six imposing tapestries called 'The Vanity of Small Differences', his personal but panoramic take on the taste of 21st-century Britain. In each episode, he embeds himself with people from across the social spectrum in a bid to get to grips with our differing takes on taste.

i have watched the first episode so far and its very interesting definately worth a look. 

the concertina book

i have been looking into concertina book ideas today and have found some really cool ones. fbecasue my project is based on clutter and too much stuff i want my book to reflect the same. i also want to be really creative with it because i think that it needs to be something that i physically make to add to it being personal.

the link below is some basic templates that can be used.

http://www.booklyn.org/education/isaccordion.pdf

they are simple and kind of childish page of different book ideas. very basic but effective. Its given me lots of ideas on how i could develop different styles. i have also looked into other more arty ones just to see how they different they can be.

i know that most people will make one that is going to be very plain and 'professional' looking but my project is based on something that i think the book needs to reflect on. the images are cluttered so i think that the whole thing should be cluttered to emphasise it more.

I want to change my body...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p00tt4fr/I_Want_to_Change_My_Body/

Just been watching this programme on iplayer. i love watching programmes like this. it gives a real insight into other peoples lives. it shows that everyone really does think the same and deep down we all have the same insecurities.

About-
Young body-obsessed Brits turn the cameras on themselves. Diving beneath the surface of Britain's body confidence crisis, this film follows up to 30 young people who are unhappy with their appearance as they attempt to transform their bodies and their lives forever. 

Using handheld cameras, the diverse characters from across Britain film their extraordinary journeys over six months. From extreme weight loss surgery to boob jobs and hair transplants, they take us with them on the roller-coaster ride of anxiety, emotion, excitement and pressure they experience on their quest for perfection. This is the real story of body-obsessed Britain, told through their eyes.

This doesn't really relate to my project but it does relate to the theme of the personal and it brings up some interesting points. it shows how people are willing to talk about themselves when they aren't pushed and when they are filming it themselves.

I like this one

Really proud of this image. its natural and not posed. chance shot like all the others. really effective.

getting somewhere with this project and for once its something that i'm actually inspired to do. 

What more can i say. 

The Hoarder Next Door

I watched this series over the summer. really inspirational towards my project. obviously its fascinating to see how these people live but also how the actual programme was filmed is very interesting. 

it tries not to be too intrusive and follows the hoarder and takes their view on it rather than altering it. 

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-hoarder-next-door/4od

if anyone didn't watch the series i definately would. its amazing that these people can live like this but then i understand how easy it is to suddenly have a house full of things and getting rid of the stuff takes forever.


i'm a hoarder in the making. 

one to watch

so i've started watching this programme. doesn't really relate to any of my photographic work but it is really interesting. seeing as i love anything architectural or to do with renovating. good one to watch.

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/george-clarkes-amazing-spaces/4od#3425742

about. 

For many the dream of having a bolt hole or a place to escape from their hectic lives can seem unobtainable. Architect George Clarke shows how such big dreams can be achieved in small and affordable places.

George meets the creative people who are making homes out of shipping containers, horseboxes and old buses. Others are building tiny huts or incredible treehouses in the middle of the woods.

George also undertakes a small-build property project of his own, buying a dilapidated caravan for just £300, with the aim of transforming it into a stunning second home for his growing family.

Sketch book

Began printing out my contact sheets and going through them.
Lots to look through.

Lets see some work

Here are a few images from the interior of my mums mums house. As you can see the rooms are pretty full. for this project i am going to be looking at the life of a hoarder and how it affects someone. not only do i want to capture the house fully of junk but i also want to look at how my mums mum interacts with the rooms and how she feels. To begin with i have been getting initial shots of the house just to get a feel of what the place is like and so that i get used to shooting in the spaces. i have been exploring different techniques of shooting and am yet to find a way that perfectly works. 

As you can see there's a lot of clutter every where. The rooms are very difficult to photograph because of the sheer volume of stuff. jsut getting into the rooms has been a difficult task.

Theres alot of junk. 

Yesterdays Visit

Yesterday i went to my mums mums, i took a ridiculous amount of images. And surprisingly most of them are really good.  i am so pleased, i am so inspired for this project and really want to do it well.
Yesterday was just the start however. I am going to be visiting alot more to get even more material.
I also shot a couple of videos yesterday of my mum and mums mum talking. They are quite funny but i'm pleased with them. I obviously need to improve my video skill but practice makes perfect.
Now to start editing and making contact sheets...


but for now here are a few of the images that i particularly liked from this shoot

 Now her lounge has become are lot tidier than it used to be but its still pretty cluttered. you still cant sit on the chairs and all the space behind then is just a mess. however for this image i was looking at the best angle to use so that i could get the best possible view of this arm chair. the lighting is quite dark but adds to the effect of the image. i did experiment with flash when trying to get this image but found it made the image too bold and harsh which isn't the effect i want to create.

this image is very simple and isn't cluttered like the other images of the house. this image shows how the house is falling to disrepair. and how nothing has changed in a very long time. its literally falling apart.the image itself is quite dull from the natural light that is coming in through the window. the colours emphasise the bland appearance of the house and reflects a lonely existence i think.

 this image depicts my mums mum in the lounge sorting through the various items around her. shes poised on the sofa. looking ready to move. it shows her surrounded by her clutter and i think she fits in with it quite well. its a busy image however but this engrosses the viewer more i think.

now i have included this image because of its simplicity. it depicts her perfectly. with her typical expression. plus the image shows her sat focusing on the camera where as many of my images dont have her engaging with the camera. its a dark image with the light coming in from behind her so half of her face is shadowed but i think this adds to the overall appearance of the image and makes it more successful.

now from here i need to continue sorting through my images because there are alot. 

filthy home offices

just read this article on the 'news'.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2221821/Filthy-home-offices-piled-high-cigarette-butts-beer-cans-make-commuting-living-room-nightmare.html


pretty gross, but oddly enough kind of relates to my project in a way.

Tomorrow

So tomorrow is the day that i'll be heading to my mums mums to start shooting. I'll be spending the whole day with her so will hopefully get loads of shots.
Usually when i visit i help her tidy something up or get her to chuck at least one thing out. Its a slow process but it works and she feels better for it and loves repeatedly saying that she'll pay me 10p an hour to clear the whole house for her.

She always has a story to go with everything so its great listening.

I'll be looking to document anything that we throw out. And seeing as most of the stuff she throws out i end up with anyhow, i can take some time to photograph individual objects.

Lets see how it goes.

obsessive compulsive hoarder

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/obsessive-compulsive-hoarder/4od

i spent alot of time over the summer watching documentaries about hoarders. this one was the first. they are fascinating and a real inspiration. it shows an insight into what some people are like and how some people can let their homes take over from them.

It is an illness and it makes the person become very isolated and lonely. by watching these documentaries i have become more engaged with my subject and have learnt more about it.

I am the eye.

Quote from john berger. Inspirational.




Also a good start. i am showing the world what i see. i am showing my personal view of the world.

whats out there and what i see is personal to me. its in the the eye.

Trying something new

Got the blogger app on my phone. Hopefully it works! Lets see..

just an image

my mums mum.

her house is messy and shes crazy as they come.

update update.

So haven't blogged in a while. it clearly is not my strong point.

But anyhow.  An update, so far I've been researching into millions of different photographers. getting a real idea of what works and what doesn't when photographing family. it seems that anything goes but what makes it successful is hard to tell. Basically the images need to be good and interesting.

On Wednesday i am off to visit my mums mum to start shooting. as it'll be my first visit since starting the project i will be mainly chatting to her and getting what shots i can. however i haven't seen her in a month so i'll have a lot to catch up on i'm sure.

I will also be recording some of our conversations along the way which i am planning to do on Wednesday but we'll see how it goes.

Website

found the best website for photographers work the other day.

http://vervephoto.wordpress.com/page/6/

so many amazing images.

This has really helped to kick start my research for this project. so many different photographers works relate. though few photographers seem to of documented a hoarder. I guess its a hard thing to capture unless you know one. They are very private people generally.

however for this project i am looking more at how other photographers work when i comes to capturing family and something that is personal to them. their results all differ and obviously each photographer will work very differently but its a good idea to get a sense of how they work and what works well.

Also researching into other works lets me see how they compile edits and how long the series tend to be which are very important factors to consider.

Presentation time

As part of this module we've had to do a presentation that has to be presented to class. we are working in pairs for this and it has to be based on a photographic series or a photographer that works in a personal way.

 Today i was working on the presentation. Ours is focused on a photographer called mike brodie. He has some fantastic images.

his work is very personal because it is a document of his life and the way he lives. it shows an insight into his life without physically showing him. yet the way he documents everything around him it still shows how he lives and what his life must be like.

http://girltears.wordpress.com/2008/04/16/the-polaroid-kidd-ridin-dirty-face/

there's a load of his images on this link above.
You can see how his works are personal. i really like the style of his works as well and the colours that are given from film.

Our presentation mainly focuses on what his images say and what the work is about.

My mums mum

My proposal.

Obsession, we all have one. but for some it spirals out of control. some of us have money. but some of us have things, too many things. when this happens often it turns into a hoard and before we know it its too much to cope with.we suddenly realise the mess we've made and how hard throwing the things out can be.

My mums mum lives within a house full of clutter that has just expanded and expanded over the years until now and she cant cope with it at all. now she is on her own she has realised what shes living in and wants to do something about it.

Over the summer i went to visit her every week and helped her to get rid of some things. this turned out to be an almost impossible task. she has a memory for everything no matter how mundane they may seem. what is junk to us us a forgotten treasure to her.

for this project i want to give other people an insight into her life and also give me a chance to document her life, which is something that has always fascinated me.

People know that there are hoarders out there and that these places exist but it never seems real. but by experiencing it first hand your opinion on it completely changes and you start to understand how easy it can be to develop a hoard.

this project will be very personal to me and will hopefully help me to get to know my mums mum better. she will be in her natural surroundings and aware of the camera. i hope it wont come across as being too intrusive.

My plan will be to spend lots of time with her, capturing everything i see and then letting the project develop itself. i also want to develop some short recordings to add to it.

Personal View

What am i going to do. what do i want to show. what am i capturing.

The purposes if this project it to focus on subject that can be reflected personally.  now i have taken that in a fairly literal sense and have chosen to focus on a subject that is close to me and one that i can personally get involved it. it is also something that i have wanted to work on for some time but have never had the right frame of mind or commitment to do it well. therefore i am hoping for this project i will be able to successfully execute the project and produce a very personal and reflective document that will help to build my portfolio.

Because it is such a long project it needed to be based on something that i can continue to visit and develop more as the project progresses. therefore by focusing on something family based has seemed like the most appropriate option.